“I hope, wherever you come from, there is someone who holds your story. Someone who remembers you when you were knee high to a grasshopper.” –David Pitonyak

Being known is critical to our well-being, says author and one of the best diversity thinkers, David Pitonyak.

Tim Vogt, Starfire Learning Network Coordinator, recently shared his thoughts on Pitonyak’s piece, “Who Holds Your Story” on Facebook, and it’s here for posterity!

“Over the past four years, I’ve met with dozens of families of people with disabilities. I have given each of those families this article.

Usually, it’s the first thing I give them.

It’s just so important. It’s funny, it’s poignant, and it asks powerful questions with important ideas. The icing on the cake is an attached bit of thinking from Jack Pealer and Sandy Landis, which I think inspired the article.

I’ve been able to learn from David Pitonyak a few times, and am grateful for it. In particular, he first blew my mind with his “7 Questions” and framing “behaviors” as ways for communicating unmet needs. Such an important point of empathy that I was never taught.

Overall, this article is about helping people explore, name and reclaim their story. Knowing a bit about the author, and Jack Pealer and Sandy Landis, I’m guessing its original intent was to help people with disabilities who were institutionalized and had their story lost.

For me, it’s also a cautionary tale of what might happen if we allow institutional stories to creep in, and/or we neglect building strong personal stories of connection and community participation. That’s why I think parents of young children with disabilities might find this a critical read. They are the single most important predictor, in my opinion, of a person’s trajectory into an inclusive life story, or a segregated life story.

Of course, it’s also critical that people in the field read it….And then think about ways they can catalyze better stories and avoid the institutional stories…

And lastly, I always wish neighbors and friends of people with disabilities could read things like this. They might see themselves in the role of “Maria,” building lifelong memories and friendships…Or in the role of the sisters or the town policeman: helping craft connected stories with people with disabilities and their families is such an important action any of us can take in our daily lives.

So, take a moment to read the “Who Holds Your Story” PDF below, and check out the author’s pages. All, I promise, are worth some clicks.”