The Worth of Small Things

“His world has been so small.  He doesn’t see.  He doesn’t hear.  He doesn’t speak.”

We sat in our small group, listening.  The struggle she described was very different than the reflections others had shared around making introductions at a local sewing circle, or how to help someone remember a friends birthday coming up, how to collect more donations for the Humane Society and grow the project to include more people.

Bonnie was at a loss. 

She really didn’t know what might interest Ted.  He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t hear what she might be suggesting. He’d had no spikes of achievement in his life to her knowledge, no big momentous occasions to celebrate over his 50 years of life, no celebrations that she was aware that might give her some ideas, a clue into what he might enjoy, no hobbies unique to him that anyone had ever mentioned in meetings or MyPlans.

Mostly, Bonnie said, she wasn’t sure where to even begin.

The group was quiet.  Reflecting on the depth of work that might be required to begin to explore what might make sense for Ted, what goodness the two of them could work on together if Ted himself couldn’t tell her.

Instead of suggesting ideas, we simply held the space that Ted was worthy of a good life.  And any small nudge in that direction in itself would be good. 

Just begin, the group agreed. Explore.  If Ted hadn’t had any experiences, the world of experiences was new and open to him – and wasn’t that an exciting problem to have?

Bonnie left the meeting with a bit more encouragement.  Knowing, that whatever small step was next for her and Ted, was worth doing.  That there was a worth in small things – going to one new place, meeting one new person, exploring one new hobby, having one day to start thinking on what a good life might look like.  And knowing that a good life, starts with doing one small thing at a time.