Ashley’s Family Story

Annual Christmas Tree Gathering (Goshen)

I had a sense early on that my daughter belonged. We went to storytimes, library events, Mom and Me classes. And I thought I was preparing her to engage in community by going to therapy and regular appointments. Those things required so much energy, I didn’t think I had any more energy to start something new.

We started our Christmas Tree project with the idea to invite families in the community to come and plant a Christmas tree on our land.

We visited with our next-door neighbor regularly and asked his advice: Can you plant trees in December?

Where would you suggest we get the trees from?

Eventually, our neighbor and his family were beautifully and organically invested. He called around and got quotes. He went and got the trees. His grandsons prepared the ground and unloaded the trees. His family invited their friends and family. Gradually, our eyes were being lifted off what we had perceived as a problem, our daughter’s disability, and refocused on the beauty of our world and community.

In our rural town, there’s one coffee shop, three fast food restaurants, two gas stations and a library. We invited people using our neighborhood Facebook page and hung flyers in the local coffee shop. We had no idea how many peo- ple would come. However, as the event began, car after car started pulling in. Before you knew it, we had more people than we ever imagined!

Our mentor was right to encourage us to look for beautiful surprises along the way. We wanted it to be a healing experience for everyone, so we brought the five senses into the experience. We had art, luminaries, paths through the fields, Christmas music, a baker who baked Christmas cookies, and hot cocoa and a bonfire. We talked with neighbors that that evening and we really got a sense that they want more community connections also. Now in our third year, we invite families to come back every December to take their Christmas tree (if it’s tall enough) or just to check in and take a picture with their family.

Throughout our journey, our regular life continued to be assaulted with experiences of segregation and exclusion. Having our mentor from Starfire there to offer communal repentance, practice forgiveness, discuss culture, and imagine together a place of belonging for our daughter was life changing for us and for her.

This was the magic of this experience for us.

We don’t have to wait until we think everything is right to start building community and to start creating spaces of be- longing for our neighbors and memory making moments for each other. Those are always good.